Four Myths About Goals That You Need To Stop Believing Now. Leadership vs PushershipBy Jack M. Zufelt

“Mentor to Millions”

My definition of leadership is comprised of four things. 1) A leader is someone who is in front of others…. someone who is ahead of the pack….leading others to a place he or she wants them to go; 2) They are someone who will do what they are asked or expected to do when the person who invited them is not there. 3) A leader knows what they are doing and knows the way to get to the end result. 4) They are confident they can get others there as well.

The ability and skill to be a leader is not hard to acquire or cultivate in others. But that will only happen if certain crucial elements are there. If they are not their leaders/management find themselves pushing or dragging people and that always brings about resistance and frustration because no one likes to be pushed or dragged. People willingly follow and, in fact, actually, enjoy being led if they trust the leader and if they want to go where the leader is offering to take them.

Many think that getting those they lead/supervise to do the following things are what it takes to be a good leader:

•    Be authoritative;

•    Be knowledgeable;

•    Read/study recommended personal development or management skills books;

•    Don’t be soft or a pushover;

•    Do highly focused, intense weekly/monthly/annual goal setting;

•    Put in whatever time it takes no matter what the personal expense is;

•    Don’t get personally involved with those they lead;

•    Attend management classes;

•    Push hard to meet goals/deadlines;

•    Time management

There are many other “techniques” taught by gurus and trainers that they say are the key to good leadership and getting people to take action. Most do not work very well or an outright waste of time and effort.  

If everything the self-help and leadership gurus tell us to do worked as they say, then why aren’t they more effective? Millions have done all these things but didn’t get the results expected or needed.

Here is one example from a few years ago regarding the super popular, best-selling book, titled   7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Steven Covey…God rest his soul:   A major magazine featured an article titled Ten Years…Seven Habits – Just How “Highly Effective” have Stephen Covey’s Habits Remained?  In that article, they say “Although most of us have probably absorbed the principals behind the habits as part of our basic education, we don’t apply them to our lives.” “What’s common sense is not common practice,” said Covey.

So…why didn’t those, right on, common sense things become common practice? The answer is quite simple.

**WARNING** What you are about to read will shatter conventional self-help and leadership theories that well-meaning trainers and gurus have been teaching for the past 75 + years. In fact – even though they mean well — what they are teaching is stunting or even permanently destroying your chance to be a successful leader. I know that is strong language, but it is the truth.

Achieving excellence as a leader and manager is available to anyone but only if they follow the laws that govern all success. Interestingly, the most important law of success is often completely ignored. I call it the “Law of Wants.” If this law is not obeyed to the letter then mediocrity, discouragement or outright failure are the end result.

There is a vital ingredient, which is the true, root cause of all achievement in all areas of life including, and especially, leadership.  This critical element for success is not based on a person’s authority or language skills or on what countless experts and gurus have been teaching. They all pretty much serve up the same old philosophies such as team building, time management, goal setting, self-help books, doing daily affirmations, PMA, listening to motivational speakers or breaking boards and walking on hot coals at retreats, etc., etc.

These so-called “keys” to success have all been embraced by millions of people in the hope of finding success and happiness. Billions of dollars and untold millions of hours have been spent on seminars and books and audio programs and techniques of all kinds. But they don’t work like everyone thought they would. If all these things worked then why are managers and leaders still searching for the magic bullet that will help them get the results they want?

There is a better, simpler way. 

All that is needed to achieve excellence as a leader or manager in any area is to discover what the people want individually and offer to help them get it if it falls within the scope of your and their abilities as their leader. Knowing the things provides that vital ingredient, which can only come from those being led, is the catalyst for them to take action on your what you want them to do as their leader or manager. Are excellence in leadership and organizational productivity really that simple?  Absolutely! All leaders in the world, good and bad, were, and are, able to do this.

Throughout history leaders from mighty kings to powerful generals to inspiring, rabble-rousing upstarts have rallied others to their causes be they just or unjust. The more dedicated and committed those followers were, the more the kings, generals, and revolutionists believed that they were the great motivators.

However, these leaders were, at best, disillusioned. What those leaders excelled at was inspiring their followers/minions by tapping into their Core Desires. The closer a leader’s vision corresponded with his or her followers’ Core Desires, the higher and more powerful the leader became.

The same holds true on all scales of leadership….small or large. Finding peoples Core Desires and helping them get them will make them willing even avid and entirely committed, followers.

Most of them, including people like Joan of Arc, Gandhi, did not employ any of the techniques taught today. Most of what is taught today as “keys” to success are myths because they just don’t work. Let’s dispel some of those myths.

Myth #1. Writing down a list of goals paper is critical to our success.  The reigning king of all success techniques is goal setting. We’ve all been taught that if we write down our goals, we’ll be successful. And if we don’t, we won’t.  That’s just not true.  My research shows that 8 out of 10 things a person writes on a goal list never happens. Everyone has many goals they didn’t finish and many they didn’t even start on.  Besides, we all accomplish many things every day that weren’t written down on paper. Just stated, goal setting doesn’t cause success.

Myth #2.  Motivational speakers are important. How long did you stay motivated after hearing a great speaker?  Most people say: “two weeks,” “two days,” “`till I got out of the parking lot.” It’s always a very short time. The conclusion that must be drawn is that, no matter how good they are, motivational speakers have no lasting effect.  

Myth #3.  Self-help books are what will make us all successful. How many do you have in your library? 2? 5? 20? 100? Just how many does it take?  I say none. Most just end up being expensive dust collectors.

Myth #4.  Daily affirmations help make you successful. Do you like people to lie to you? Of course not.  Then why is it okay to lie to yourself? It isn’t. But that’s precisely what the concept of daily affirmations asks you to do. Stating hundreds of times that your organization has doubled its sales, or that you are out of debt or that you weigh 125 pounds or have an income of $10,000 a month or drive a Mercedes are all lies if they haven’t happened. I have proven that repeating them over and over will not make them happen. Supposedly your subconscious mind doesn’t know the difference between a truth and a lie. Even if that is true, your conscious mind sure does. Lying never works.

There are many more leadership and self-help myths that exist which just don’t work yet people keep on doing them.  Why?  Because we have been told by some guru/expert that these things are what we must do to excel and achieve success in any area of life. Sadly, people want success so badly that they blindly accept whatever the guru/expert says. When these precepts don’t work for them, they will either try the same thing again with renewed vigor, or we throw more money into the next seminar, book or technique.   

What is this vital ingredient that makes people become leaders? What is the component that must be present before excellence in managing an organization can be achieved? Where is the switch to our God-given power that I call the “Conquering Force” to do, have or become whatever we want?

Where does the unstoppable drive and strength come from to do that which is unpleasant, hard or way out of our comfort zones? Where do we go to get enthusiasm and discipline so we can help those we have stewardship over?  How can we, as a leader, help the people tap into their own source of inner strength and self-motivation that keeps them persisting, constantly learning truths and being determined to make the necessary character and personality changes required for the level of excellence and success they want? 

The answer is uncomplicated, and it is the same for all of the questions just asked.

All these things come from this one very essential ingredient — Genuine Core Desires. That’s the answer. A Core Desire is something you want so badly it pierces you to the very core of your heart. These are things you want with all your heart. Being half-hearted in anything just doesn’t cut it.

When you accurately identify someone’s Core Desire, it automatically unleashes what I call the Conquering Force that is within them.  This Conquering Force causes them to have the discipline and ability to overcome all obstacles in their way.  Imagine a whole organization you are the leader of the team having the same Core Desires! That’s what happened with the Apollo 13 ground crew. They all had a Core Desire to bring home, and they literally did what was considered absolutely impossible.

Many years ago, Mark Twain identified a problem that is the crux of why people don’t succeed.  He said, “I can show anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is, I can’t find anybody who can tell me what they want.” Earl Nightingale confirmed that. He said, “Today in America people can become whatever they want. Trouble is, most don’t know what they want.”  

Most people don’t know how to identify their Core Desires so as a leader or manager you must help them do it because if you don’t, this old Welch proverb will apply to your organization: “The hand will not reach for what the heart does not long for.”  This is where clock watchers come from.

Everything we want in this life can be measured on a scale from 1 to 100. Core Desires are the100s. If the desire for the end result is a 70 on the scale, we’ll get 70% of the way there. Any obstacle that is bigger than the desire will stop us permanently just like a dam does water. 

There are no barriers that can stop you if the Core Desire is at 100 on the scale. Anyone who succeeds at anything does so because it is a Core Desire, at 100 on the scale…and for no other reason.

To drill down to a person’s Core Desires ask them this these two simple questions: What do you want that you are not currently getting? As soon as you get an answer, ask this second question: If you had that what would it give me that you’re not getting?

Keep asking the second question, “What would that give you that you’re not getting.” When you get to their “Core Desire” you will always see them have some kind of emotional experience. They may feel joy. They may feel tremendous peace or assurance and have total confidence that you have hit the proverbial nail on the head. They may even tear up or start to cry. They may just breathe a deep sigh saying, “Yes that’s what I really want.”  

Keep drilling until you hear an emotional connection to what they tell you. Then you know what you need to do to guide them and lead them. Until then you are just guessing and hoping that something you say will hit home and cause interest or you just bark orders expecting them to obey without any reason except that you said so.

Once you discover a 100 on the scale, they will then automatically be motivated from within to learn and do or buy whatever is required. A 100 on the scale is also the source of discipline and enthusiasm. It also eliminates all procrastination. 

If you are not getting the results you want in your life, (and in the life of those you lead) merely acknowledge that you, or they, just didn’t want to learn how to get it badly enough. Rudyard Kipling, Nobel Prize-winning author, said it this way: “If you do not get what you want it is a sign that you did not seriously want it.” 

With this new understanding of what it really takes to achieve excellence in all aspects of leadership, you will be able to increase productivity and results. Identifying and focusing on Core Desires never fails to bring about success. That is a fact of life you can take to the bank. Excellence in leadership and in your personal life is not “out there” in some technique. It is an “inside job” and requires you to know what the people in your organization want so you can lead them to that end result.

 About the Author Jack M. Zufelt “Mentor to Millions”

Jack Zufelt is a world-renowned success expert. He is one of the most successful speakers and business consultants on the national and international scene. He is very popular keynote speaker. He has discovered something that is being called a “breakthrough” and a “wake up call” in the world of success and personal development.

He overcame huge obstacles and disadvantages to become a very successful businessman with a vast amount of experience in many different corporate arenas.   He has invested over 23 million dollars in several different businesses. They include Real Estate, coal mines, eight Airborne Express franchises, six automotive tune and quick lube franchises, manufacturing, personal development and extremely successful high-tech computer games called, “Cinemaware”. 

His client list includes associations and companies of all sizes including many Fortune 500 companies.

Jack’s book, The DNA of Success, has catapulted him into the limelight as a celebrity business consultant, keynote speaker and trainer all around the world.

• Jack is the Author of the #1 best-selling book, The DNA of Success whichis now in    16 languages.

• Jack was awarded the Presidential Medal of Merit by a former President of the United States.

• He was honored by the United States Senate for teaching Americans how to achieve better results in their personal lives and careers.

• He has been interviewed on over 2,000 radio and TV talk shows including The Today Show in Australia. PBS aired a special on Jack and his concepts that was sent via satellite to 127 countries.

• Zufelt was selected by Winners Digest, a publication for Fortune 500 executives, as one of the two most effective speakers in the U.S. The other was elected President of the United States that year.

• He is listed as a “Who’s Who” of Human Potential Superstars and the “Best of the Best” by the world-famous Nightingale-Conant. They featured his bestselling audio-tape series on the cover of their catalog.  This audio program was featured in SUCCESS magazine … twice.

• The American Salesman Magazine, in a cover story, said, “Jack Zufelt turns salespeople into top producers”.

• He was given the status of Honorary Citizen by the Mayors of 15 major cities in the USA.

• The readers and editors of Motivational International, a multi-national publication focusing on self-help and motivational concepts, voted Jack as one of two, of the last decade’s top international speakers. The other was elected President of the United States.

• Sales and Marketing Digest reported, “Zufelt has a proven Formula for success.”

• Rev. Robert Schuller of TV’s Hour of Power and Crystal Cathedral fame said, “We all need that winning ability and Jack Zufelt can help you get it.”

• Life Insurance Selling Magazine published a two-part series on Zufelt’s Conquering Force concept and said “Zufelt is a leading national speaker on achievement dynamics.”

• Florida Living Magazine, in an article featuring Jack Zufelt on the cover, reported, “Jack is one of America’s most booked speakers.”

• Jack been featured on the cover of many other magazines that published articles written by, or about, him in several countries including America, Canada, Malaysia, Taiwan, Singapore, Hong Kong, New Zealand, Australia Japan, Indonesia, Philippines, Korea and Thailand.

Jack has discovered a concept about achievement that had never been taught before.  It has caused him to become very popular as a speaker, trainer, business consultant and mentor to millions.

He has gained worldwide recognition because of his unique and life changing approach to all achievement and success in all areas of life.

His personal and business success qualifies him to teach others how to achieve that same success in their own careers and personal lives.